Sunday, June 9, 2013

love of life story

I am currently writing a short story. I don’t expect it to be good. My aim right now is just to get the words down, to get into the practice of writing daily a longer piece whose end is not immediately visible. If I achieve a beginning, middle and an end then I am happy. It is different than writing a stone or a poem. It is different than writing a blog post. I have only a vague idea of how the story’s direction is going to go and I may change my mind at any instant. Right now it is the story of Bert. He hasn’t met Marjorie yet, but I know one day I’ll write where the two of them meet and she will change his life. No, it is not a love story but a love of life story.
Is this how the intelligence of the Universe directs us? Does it have just a vague idea of our lives' direction and could change its mind at any instance? Possible. Details in my written story come up at a whim. They tend to do that in life too. The unexpected can change the story with an instance. We shape the story but it also shapes us.A short while ago I was asked by Rosemary Nissen-Wade if I would be inclined to share a piece of writing I did with Poets Unite (Friday, May 13th). Would I!! I was tickled to cotton candy pink. I am honoured to have my work recognized by dedicated writers creating a blog of quality. I willingly shared what I wrote. 

Yet there’s an interesting outcome to their acknowledgement of my work. My personal story changed with that instance. They changed the shape of the story I’d been writing for myself.For the first time I think of myself as a writer. I mostly thought of myself as a creative person who writes just as I thought of myself as a creative person who paints. There is a difference. To call oneself a writer or a painter suggests a lifestyle dedicated to those efforts. I’ve resisted that. A writer/painter life is one of uncertainty. I wanted more stability or at least thought I did.Yet deep down I knew it to be my goal—to become a writer and artist.

I desire to uncover what I am capable of, not because of any especial talent, but because I do not want to look back with regrets. That aspect requires accepting and being committed to the creative energy within. My goal is to live in such a way that allows the greatest possibility of producing and creating rather than consuming. It truly is a lifestyle that takes practice and effort and is still in it's infancy, but I am joyfully learning the middle-aged baby steps. 

I am pencils and erasers, a writer and painter: an artist of words and images. This is my life. 

There, I’ve said it. Curious how the Universe will respond.

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