Sunday, March 17, 2013

a ball story


Two pens, black and silver, sit upon a jewel case. The jewel, in this case, is an ancient game of elves and dwarves fighting to save an ice inhabited planet. Nearby is a large ball of woven elastics. The elastic ball my mother gave me. It contains nearly twenty years of elastic saving. They are so brittle now. They snap at the smallest touch. I am grateful for all these treasures on my desk. The pens allow me to record my world. The game reminds me that life need not be serious and there is room for fantasy. The ball has so many messages: thriftiness has its own beauty, small endeavours over time grow to something of significance and that elasticity must not be taken for granted.

Opening a blog about items on my desk may seem like an odd way to start but there is method to my sanity.

I am learning to hate formatting while learning how to format. That isn’t entirely true. I am learning to hate my lack of competence at formatting. I’m not sure if it is me or some glitch with Blogger. I type in what I want to say, check the font size and type and then view the preview…it appears different.Two weeks ago my post turned out well and last week was a farce in technical mischief. I hope this week turns out better. I try to find out what I’m doing wrong and can’t seem to get a handle on it. I’m sure one day I’ll have it mastered and I’ll look back and wonder what all the fuss is about, but in the mean time I am learning to hate formatting. I shouldn’t say hate, that’s wrong, perhaps intense dislike would be more appropriate.

It is said that you learn more from your mistakes than your successes. I can accept that. I do not like it but I can accept that. What I find hard to accept is that I don’t seem to be getting any farther ahead. Typical of me to expect too much too soon but I am one for instant gratification. I read a Picasso quote somewhere that should be inspiring: I do something I don’t know how to do so that I may know how to do it. Picasso never had to deal with computer programs. Knowing what a short fuse he had and his bouts with depression I’m sure he would have disliked formatting too.

This is why I posted the story of the elastic ball on my desk to my blog. The story is a reminder that small endeavours over time will eventually improve skills overall. The ball story is also a reminder to take care of myself so I don’t snap. Learning is hard work, but necessary for personal growth.

investing in my personal property
I’ve never talked about the artwork that tops my blog. I call it “investing in my personal property.” The two portraits are of me now and myself at age two. I worked on the painting for several weeks and then stopped. I didn’t feel the artwork was finished but also didn’t know where else to take it. Maybe it is because my personal journey isn’t over yet. Anyways when I started this blog it seemed like an appropriate image for a wet coast dilettante so it has remained unfinished and in a position of importance on this blog. I like the contrast between the promotional image of calm sea and lighthouse and the rocky, rough sea that is usually navigated in making personal investments. The only way to progress is to scan the horizon ahead, rudder the present course and look above one’s past.

Someday I may know how to do it.

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